If ever you have felt comfortable to watch the program on TV called “Modern Family,” I duff my hat for you. When in the late seventies and early eighties, the program: “The American Family: An Endangered Species?” aired on NBC, one in four families had the traditional family structure, 40% of marriages ended in divorce, and there were six million single parent families only. If you think that was bad, you’ll be shell-shocked by today’s statistics, which I’ll spare you. But consider that in the eighties, gay marriage hadn’t become law and it would have been unheard of to think one could choose his or her gender; threesomes and foursomes were still deviant behaviors. The various step-situations we have today were merely tolerated then, and having children outside wedlock was still frowned at.
Against this backdrop of today’s family, the Church presents us with the Holy Family of Nazareth. It may sound strange to many brought up and living in present day families to learn that a family situation like that of Mary, Joseph, and Jesus was even possible. Not that things were all pretty and dandy for them. In fact, they contended with most or even much more of the complexities and worries of life than the average family. For example, we love to put up the Nativity Scene in our heated and air-conditioned living rooms and churches, often forgetting that the stable of Bethlehem was cold and uncomfortable, smelt of animal feces, and lacked doctors and nurses to aid in child delivery. The Holy Family was so poor that at the Presentation of Jesus in the temple, the family could only afford the offering of the poor—two pigeons. Joseph was a carpenter, barely able to put food on the table. While we cry and fret about bad politicians, we have not been targeted by government to the extent that we’ll need to escape to another country as fugitives. The Holy Family experienced fear, sorrow and disappointments, yet held on hope and resigned to God’s plan. We too may face difficulties, missteps and uncertain situations, and have the Holy Family as our mentor. In our church family as members of St. John’s parish or any other parish, it is possible, too, to feel abandoned like several families with runaway or separated fathers.
But today’s feast can also help us reflect on the adverse effects that contemporary ethos has brought upon the family. More than 50 years after the encyclical, Humanae Vitae, by Pope Paul IV, we are living witnesses of the calamity he predicted about the family faced with a vehement contraceptive culture. St. Paul VI, as a true prophet, warned of four resulting trends: 1) a general lowering of moral standards throughout society, 2) a rise in infidelity, 3) a lessening of respect for women by men, and 4) a coercive use of reproductive technologies by governments. Do you need any argument to show that modern society has acquiesced to lower moral standards that are not just tolerated but radically enforced as the norm? You become a social outcast today if you do not accept abortion, homosexuality, gender fluidity, cohabitation, and pornography. About rise in infidelity and lessening of respect for women, we need look no further than the myriads of allegations of sexual exploitation of women and children roiling Hollywood and several in the political class. The pill was supposed to free everybody from sexual slavery, but look what it has given society—a greater percentage of men and women registered as sex-offenders, sexual molestation and exploitation of children and women, a deadening of the male libido in relation to real women, and solace in porn and online adultery. The HHS Mandate of the Obama era was an example of the coercive enforcement of the contraceptive culture by government as predicted by Prophet Paul VI. As we enter a new temporal year, we are called to recover the priceless jewel of family life seen in the family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph. We must refuse to connive with the forces that threaten the family.
Fr. Chukwudi Jo Okonkwo